15 reasons NOT to deploy an APM solution

Although the Foglight team has long been an advocate of application performance management (APM), stress, tension, and burnout are still common complaints among IT ops, application support and dev teams alike. This has made us ponder why you folks would not want to deploy an APM solution. After extensive research, we've narrowed it down to this:

 

Top 15 Reasons Why IT Does NOT Want to Deploy an APM Solution:

 

15. I enjoy the after hour drives to the data center. Gets me out of the house.

14. I already have 30 apps I am trying to keep up and running. I don't need another one to worry about.

13. Do I really want to be notified that something is wrong? That's the end users job to filter out all the unimportant broken stuff.

12. I already have a monitoring system. The green/red LED lights on the servers.

11. Running around fighting performance issues makes you look cool and is great job security.

10. I make a lot of side-money in the "pick whose fault it was" office betting pool.

9. I can tell you right now it’s our network guys, they have no clue what they’re doing. Besides, I love the way they steam when I blame the network and they can’t defend themselves.

8. Making up new scenarios for what might be wrong is my only creative outlet.

7. Why would I want to know the end user’s experience? It would just make it harder to blame tricky problems on "User Error."

6. It is always the DBA’s fault. I don’t need an APM solution to tell me that.

5. Our developers write such horrible code that nothing I do can ever make a difference.

4. It's such an adrenaline rush to work on a problem knowing thousands of users are already affected as you work on it!

3. I love the smell of whiteboard markers in the war room. It smells like …. Victory!!

2. I couldn't impress my girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/husband with how I "saved the internet" again today.

1. I'd miss the free pizza during the late night emergency war room sessions.

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